So in a little over 12 hours, I've got another appointment at vocational rehab to discuss my test results and where I should go with things from there, and along with other things, it's making me so fucking anxious I could explode. I want to believe this is a step in the right direction, and it's probably going to be one, but there's the cynical side of me that's wary of it possibly turning into absolutely nothing substantial at all (Network Relocation Services, a couple web design offers a year and a half ago). I'm also quite nervous about all the challenges and very stressful situations ahead, but I think just finding something solid in the job market is going to take so much psychological weight off me. It's really not healthy to get totally up on life one or two days a week (particularly Monday nights) and then feel like worthless, directionless scum of the Earth the rest of the time, when I'm constantly around people who have a lot more of a life direction than I do. I'm hoping all of it will help me become a much more focused, stronger person so that, through all the hard times, I can at least feel tons more accomplished and deserving of everything I'm fortunate to have in life. As of right now, apart from the more successful open mics and scattered other things, I just can't find much focus or sense of accomplishment at all, and it upsets me so much. It certainly doesn't help that I'm still very, very much fighting battles within myself as to what I should ultimately do with my review site - there are so many complicated angles to that situation that I can't even think straight. And yeah, there are other unresolved issues too, but you can probably figure out what those are.

I need sleep. Yeah.